Thank you for Your faithfulness. Please help me to be completely satisfied in You alone.
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Monday, February 3, 2014
Back in America
Joe and I got back on December 20th, 12pm. To say the least, we were slightly overwhelmed by American soil that day. Coming out of the airplane, I didn't know what to expect. It felt like I hadn't seen my family and friends for so long and I knew that change was inevitable.
Ten minutes before landing, I told Joe that my motto for this new upcoming year would be "Enjoy life and take things one step at a time." At first, things seemed to be going smoothly and this motto seemed easier to apply than I had expected.
But things have definitely grown harder. Naturally, as well. This job-hunt has challenged me to re-evaluate certain motives. I realize I have so any idols and fears that I place above the Lord and graciously, He is searching my heart and refining me.
Joe finds himself in Dallas, working on another movie. I know that leaving Southern California as soon as we got back wasn't his ideal situation, but time and time again, he said to me, "Asi es la vida" (Such is life). Looking back on this past year, I have learned so much from him as an older brother, what it means to die to yourself and take up your cross daily, how to let love cover over a multitude of sins, and what it means to surrender everything to our Father, even our desires that, in it of themselves, are good, but expose deeper roots of idolatry. His willingness to move to Dallas, as difficult as it may be, allowed me to see his level of faith in our God and is constantly encouraging me to do the same.
I am being challenged to let go of selfish desires to stay in my comfort zone. It's interesting because one would assume that going to Paraguay would be considered a big "leap of faith," but I have come to realize that staying at home in San Diego with my parents is the scariest thing I could ever do. It's ironic because it's the place I called home for so many years before college, but now as I am given clear opportunities to go back, I am resisting and stalling for as long as I possibly can.
But yesterday, as I was talking with my parents on the phone, something clicked and I realized, it's time to go home. It's time to grow up and make decisions based on what is wise, mature, and most importantly, selfless. Putting my parents above myself, something I can't ever confess to have done in the past. I had been struggling with and praying about what it means to be a good daughter and slowly but surely, in His good time, God is answering my pleas for clarity.
The immediate future is still unclear, but my resolve is. To be unshaken. To have my foundation on solid Rock. That even in this time of uncertainty, the Holy Spirit will help me remain firm and patient.
So, I will enjoy life, not because things are good and everything is going well, but because God is good and my soul is well in Christ, regardless of the circumstances.
Ten minutes before landing, I told Joe that my motto for this new upcoming year would be "Enjoy life and take things one step at a time." At first, things seemed to be going smoothly and this motto seemed easier to apply than I had expected.
But things have definitely grown harder. Naturally, as well. This job-hunt has challenged me to re-evaluate certain motives. I realize I have so any idols and fears that I place above the Lord and graciously, He is searching my heart and refining me.
Joe finds himself in Dallas, working on another movie. I know that leaving Southern California as soon as we got back wasn't his ideal situation, but time and time again, he said to me, "Asi es la vida" (Such is life). Looking back on this past year, I have learned so much from him as an older brother, what it means to die to yourself and take up your cross daily, how to let love cover over a multitude of sins, and what it means to surrender everything to our Father, even our desires that, in it of themselves, are good, but expose deeper roots of idolatry. His willingness to move to Dallas, as difficult as it may be, allowed me to see his level of faith in our God and is constantly encouraging me to do the same.
I am being challenged to let go of selfish desires to stay in my comfort zone. It's interesting because one would assume that going to Paraguay would be considered a big "leap of faith," but I have come to realize that staying at home in San Diego with my parents is the scariest thing I could ever do. It's ironic because it's the place I called home for so many years before college, but now as I am given clear opportunities to go back, I am resisting and stalling for as long as I possibly can.
But yesterday, as I was talking with my parents on the phone, something clicked and I realized, it's time to go home. It's time to grow up and make decisions based on what is wise, mature, and most importantly, selfless. Putting my parents above myself, something I can't ever confess to have done in the past. I had been struggling with and praying about what it means to be a good daughter and slowly but surely, in His good time, God is answering my pleas for clarity.
The immediate future is still unclear, but my resolve is. To be unshaken. To have my foundation on solid Rock. That even in this time of uncertainty, the Holy Spirit will help me remain firm and patient.
So, I will enjoy life, not because things are good and everything is going well, but because God is good and my soul is well in Christ, regardless of the circumstances.
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